Tony Batts, chief of police for Long Beach, California's fifth largest city, had just such a moment. In his job he is used to thinking on his feet and acting in the moment. Chief Batts holds a doctorate in public administration and has received numerous awards and commendations at the local, state, and national level for heroism, crime reduction, and innovative programs. He is responsible for a staff of 1,500 people in a city with 500,000 residents. In addition, he is the first African-American city manager of Long Beach, a position he held in the interim while still performing his duties as chief of police. But it took an experience outside his usual routine to prompt him to see clearly what was driving him and what he really wanted.

"I was in a program called Leadership Long Beach. Part of the program was a rope course with about 40 to 60 people in the class. Looking the course over I thought, 'These rope exercises aren't a big deal. It's really a waste of time for me, but I'll do it because I'm here to participate.' They had different trust-related activities, including one where people were asked to fall back and have other people catch them. It was eye-opening for me that so many participants were so scared of falling back and not trusting that the other people would catch them. Some just broke down and cried. So I thought this course would be a breeze because having trust is something I do every day in my job. When you're driving in a 100-mile-per-hour car chase things are moving so fast you've got to count on your fellow officer to tell you what's coming on your right side.

"The course had another event where we had to climb to the top of a pole, which looked higher than a normal phone pole, and at the top of the pole was a disk that we were to stand on. We wore a safety harness and tether. The object was to climb the pole, stand on top of the disk, spin yourself around, and jump down onto the landing mat below. All of my teammates went up; some made it and some didn't. My turn came up and the guy in charge, knowing I was the chief, said, 'We're going make a slight change and push the mat out a little further for you.'

"I said, 'Push it even farther out. I like a challenge!'

"He said, 'OK!'

"I don't like heights much, but I went up anyway. All along the climb I was fighting my fear of heights, yet I went all the way up. I stood at the top and turned around, but to prepare to jump I had to put one foot behind the other. As I put one foot behind me, I fell off. They lowered me down. When I got to the ground, the guy in charge said, 'Good job Tony.'

"I said, 'Not a good job. I'm going back up there.'

"He said, 'You can't go back up there.'

"And I said, 'Yes. I am. I'm going back up there and I will continue to go back up there until I'm successful at what I'm slated to do here.'

"He called the group in and said, 'Tony wants to go back up what do you think?'
"Another person said, 'Well I didn't get to go again--why should he get to go? Let's give him a group hug and show him we love him!'

"Everybody came in and gave me a hug, and I really wanted to say, 'I don't need a hug from you people!' They didn't notice my resistance and continued on to the next rope course. I stood there and actually got angry. I said to myself, 'I'm going back up there anyway. I'm not leaving here until I do that right.' I stopped for a second to reflect and thought, 'This really means nothing and for some reason I've made it into an achievement that I have to complete. What's more important are those people who were standing here and saying. 'We support you whether you made it or not--it doesn't matter.' That was an epiphany for me, because all my life I've focused on achievement as being the reason people would love, respect, or be there for me. For me, that was a big moment. I felt a shift happen inside me. From that moment on, I started to pay attention to the people in my life, the people who make the most difference to me. Not only my mom and my dad or my children, but the other people I love and care about. I started to put more balance in my life and made sure that I started putting my children first in my activities--not the job, not the achievement! That's when I began to do little things like stopping work in the middle of the day to attend a PTA meeting or an event at my kids' school. Those are the kind of things that suddenly became most important in my life. They became my top priority. I'm moving towards doing more with the people I love and with my family."

Reflection is different from introspection. Introspection is simply looking in. Stopping there limits your perspective or even diffuses it. It can lead some people to pessimism and even depression. Reflection is looking in so you can look out with a broader, bigger, and more accurate perspective. Without reflection life becomes happenstance; you run from day to day gaining no real insights. Happenings do not automatically become experiences. This is why so many people can read self-help books and hear motivational speeches without changing anything about themselves. Asking "Where am I and why am I here?" initiates a reflective process. It gives you context. It shows you the red dot "You are here" on the map. Self-help is initiated in self-reflection, which leads you from where you are to where you want to go.